Unedited Unpublished public

I'm practicing poetry at the moment, wondered if you could give feedback on a few lines?
Below is a poem I wrote 3 years ago while in highschool based on true story of some guy I knew. Not a friend but I knew perfectly .Dont expect a lot it's a juvenile.
You might wonder what I was doing what they it all that time it not being on my blog.. I always wanted someone to read and comment on my work and I started my first blog on turmblr

Come Easy no Easy Go
You can’t choose life because you are a choice
And in this life we are beggars
So when your needs are complicated
You get constipated

I was born in the one nine century
And within no time I was in primary
Starting from January
I started looking for bursary
I had to work in a granary
To save my education gallery
So as my dream of working in a Pharmacy
Not to end as a fantasy

This is not because I choose
But it was a situational force
This is after everything was put on a pause
And their was no jobs across
At work my dad was given a cross
And mum could no longer sell her Groceries
Poverty was already the boss

In a family of four
The problems were more
Life to us was no longer kind
Basic needs were not easy to find
My teeth could wish to grind
But my stomach could no longer mind

I choose to abort my education
To save the situation
My siblings were facing Depression
Due to wide starvation
Mum and dad believed education could save
But to it they were slaves

Now am in a dilemma
With the advice of my mama
Would education really save
Or it will slave

It was to be a spoken word to be sang by one great man Joe.. Thats a friend and brother.
Joe and Mejja are look alike
Mella ule wa Landlord.

 Bellow I will also give you his version of my poem.
JOE"JOHHANA"
The guy who always had a torch and could just run into your darkest end and flash it. "Bro their is light at the end of the tunnel"< those are the word of his actions

You can’t choose life coz we ni choice
Na kwa hii life si ni beggars
So when your needs Ni complicated
Utakuwa constipated

Kuzaliwa Ni one nine century
And within no time nilikuwa primary
Starting from January
Nilianza kusaka bursary
Ilibidi niwork kwa granary
Nilipie my education gallery
Ndio  dream  ya kuwork kwa Pharmacy
Isigeuke fantasy

Haikuwa choose
But ni situational iliniforce
Thats after everything iliwekwa pause
Na hakukuwa na jobs across
Kazini buda akapewa cross
Na mum akaacha kuuza Groceries
Umaskini katusamia kama boss

In a family of four
SHIDA zilikuwa more
Life to us was no longer kind
Basic needs hazikuwa easy kufind
Meno ziliwish kugrind
But tumbo Haikuwa inamind anymore

Niliamua abort education
Kuokolea hiyo situation
Mabro walikuwa wanaface Depression
Juu ya total starvation

Mum and dad walibelieve education ingesave
But Wenyewe walikuwa slaves

Sa niko kwa dilemma dilemma
Na advice ya mama
Education itasave
Ama itaendelea kuwaslave

one of the reasons i posted this blog

it was late i rushed

so expect less though their is more

,,just a throwback